Why You Shouldn't Take Your Self So Seriously
Have you ever stopped mid-thought—maybe while scrolling emails or hunting for your car keys—and wondered, “Who is this ‘self’ I keep blaming or praising?”
I do. A lot. I catch myself scolding my self when things go wrong: “Seriously, why didn’t you handle that better?” But then, out of nowhere, I’m patting my self on the back: “Nice work completing your to-do list, champ!”
But here’s the question: who am I even talking to? And what am I talking about?
The self feels solid, like it’s the central character in my story.
But when I really think about it, it’s like trying to hold onto a soap bubble. One minute, it’s confident: “I absolutely nailed that presentation!” The next, it’s spiraling: “Why did I say that dumb thing?” My self isn’t one thing at all—it’s a shape-shifting idea that changes depending on my mood, the day, or how much coffee I’ve had.
And yet, I give it so much power. I let it tell me whether I’m good, bad, or somewhere in between. But what if this self is just…a mental construct? A narrator making up a story in real time? It might feel real, but it’s about as trustworthy as a gossipy coworker.
This realization has made things lighter for me. Now, when I catch myself being overly critical (or overly smug), I pause and ask, “Wait, who’s talking to who here?” It’s funny how this tiny question can take the edge off.
I now see the self not as the CEO of my life but more like a weather report—sometimes sunny, sometimes stormy, always shifting.
And just like a weather report, it’s not the weather itself. It’s simply a description of what’s happening at the moment. It’s just telling me about what my mind is up to.
So, if you ever wonder who your self really is, take a closer look. It might not be the solid, all-knowing force you think. And honestly, that’s kind of a relief.