Who would you be without that story?
Who would you be without that story?
You know the one, it’s the one you’ve been telling yourself about:
How you are damaged goods.
How that thing that happened has made you the way you are.
How you shouldn’t have done that thing that you did.
That you aren’t smart enough or pretty enough or strong enough.
That your world would absolutely collapse if that horrible thing happened.
How your past defines you.
How your future is bleak.
How people aren’t respecting you when they should be.
That others need to treat you better.
That you need to treat others better.
That your life would be so much better if only [insert condition here] would happen.
That others are causing your pain.
That you have to be “fixed” before you can be loved.
That you are the only one who doesn’t have it figured out.
That “closure” is something that someone else can give you.
That you can control what other people think of you if you just act the right way.
Or how about your broader social story about:
How [insert group name here] is destroying our country.
How you are being controlled by the algorithm or the politicians or the media.
How your rights are being trampled.
How much better the country used to be.
That politician X is good and politician Y is evil.
That people who disagree with you are either stupid or evil.
That we have to fight for our rights.
That social media posts that you agree with are “true”.
That the world can easily be divided into “good” and “bad”.
Think about all the stories you told yourself today. Are any of the above stories familiar? I am sure that you recognize some of the stories listed above as just stories. I suspect also that there are some that don’t feel like stories… they feel like real, solid truths.
Part of the reason we blindly believe these stories is that they feel true. They come to us pre-loaded with feeling (anger, hurt, despair, irritation, etc.). Those feelings serve to add reality and solidity to our stories. Those feelings are like story enforcers - making the stories feel true.
But they are just stories - ALL OF THEM.
Many are stories you’ve been telling yourself for as long as you can remember. They are also stories that have been passed on to us by our parents, friends, and teachers. There are some that we are bombarded with every day via social media, advertising, news, and politics.
Regardless of where they came from, they are neither real nor true… they are just stories we tell ourselves.
So who would you be if you didn’t believe all your stories?
What if you saw them for what they are - not beliefs, not “who you are”, not “what’s really happening” - just stories being made up by that amazing, creative mind of yours.
Who would you be if you just let them drop?
What would happen if you didn’t fight them, didn’t negate them or deny them, didn’t try to reframe them - you just saw them for what they are and let them fall away?
Who would you be?