“Don’t be so thin-skinned.”
It’s the classic retort when someone bristles at a jab, a criticism, or a careless remark.
Don’t be so sensitive.
Toughen up.
Put on your big boy pants.
Stop being such a snowflake.
It sounds like good advice.
Like if we could just grow thicker skin, words would bounce right off us.
But here’s the thing:
That’s upside-down.
Because our feelings aren’t caused by what someone else says. They’re caused by the thoughts that come alive in us as we hear those words.
It’s not their comment that stings. It’s our mind painting it in bright colors and handing us the feeling.
This is the inside-out nature of the human experience at work.
We live in the feeling of our thinking, not in the feeling of the world. Always.
And when we see that, something shifts.
We don’t need to toughen up.
We don’t need armor.
We simply recognize that no one out there has the power to reach inside and make us feel anger, sadness, or pain.
That’s an inside job.
Here’s today’s Upside-Down Wisdom:
Resilience doesn’t come from thick skin. It comes from seeing that no one else creates your feelings.
This is Upside-Down Wisdom—a series where we flip the script on the conventional “wisdom” we’ve been taught. If you would like to read other posts in this series, please visit the Upside-Down Wisdom page.